The Ninja spies

Okay. So they’re gone. Whew! And I’m back at home, with the cats (I’ll try really hard to find the photos tonight). I still don’t know where they were from even though they told me. (The Ninjas, I mean, not the cats. I know where they’re from.) I didn’t believe them. Their accents weren’t right and the way they used the language (not English, something else that I’m not allowed to tell you) told me they weren’t from where they said they were.

So, they came back yesterday and took me outside, walked me down to the beach and made Gidget, Minou and me dig. You ever tried digging in dry sand? Not fun. I mean, I’m used to digging - when I’m up Island (or off Island) I dig for hours a day and my calluses have calluses, but I gotta tell ya, by the time we finished, we’d turned that beach over - there was sand and shells that hadn’t seen the light of day for at least 20 million years, I swear. Found a nice sand dollar, though, and some great beach glass, and a couple of those Japanese fishing floats, and a couple of interesting specimens of seaweed. Beachcombing can be fun! As long as you’re not digging too.

I kept asking them what they wanted, but they just kept telling me I knew and if I didn’t cooperate, I’d find myself in the depths of a dungeon that even Vlad the Impaler wouldn’t have dreamed of. And then they told me that they knew I was the super spy that had stolen the plans to the super secret thing I still can’t tell anyone about, and then they made us dig some more. So that was what they wanted - the plans to the super secret thing.

Don’t know how they found out that I was Super Spy - that secret was supposed to be buried deeper than the Marianas Trench. In fact, I think that the documentation was buried there. Anyway, they never asked me where the stuff was (sorry, I still can’t tell you what it was), but thought they knew. Once they’d given up, we went back to the cabin and they made me cook them dinner, and threatened that if I didn’t tell them where the plans were, they’d torture and kill us all - slowly and painfully. I was pretty scared, so I picked Gidget up and cuddled her, and then Minou jumped up on my lap and demanded equal time. Then they jumped down and demanded to be let out.

I started dinner (spaghetti with a meat sauce that’s been handed down 8 generations) and as I was opening the bottle of wine (Veuve Cliquoet Chianti, 85) the cats came back - all covered with sand and leaves and dirt. I don’t know what they’d been doing, but they sure had fun while they were doing it. I cleaned them off while the wine breathed and the sauce bubbled and the water boiled. I made the Ninja’s prepare the salad.

We had dinner, but I wasn’t allowed to have any of the wine - the greedy Ninja’s drank it all. About an hour after dinner, they all fell asleep, and I tied them up and put them in the car trunk and drove to a secret location. Once I was there, I locked them into a special room and left. Now I’m home. And that adventure is over.

See, what those Ninjas didn’t know was that when you mix the seaweed I found on the beach with some of the leaves that Minou and Gidget brought back in with them (on purpose - while I was petting them, I whispered to them to go out and get the leaves), and put it in wine, it produces a really strong sleeping potion. Those Ninjas are going to sleep for three days.

And they won’t die, either. If they think very hard about it, and they work really hard, they can untie themselves, and the room they’re locked in can be opened, if they are patient and think outside the box. The only trouble is that they’ll have to be able to hold their breaths for a fairly long time. It’s at the bottom of the ocean, off the coast a ways.

Oh, and the secret plans? They’ re buried under one of the outhouses I use. I have several. There’s the Louis XVI, and the Art Deco, and the Elizabethan and the Star Trek and the Matrix and the World War I & II. And those are only the ones I finished. One of my hobbies is decorating outhouses. If those Ninja types want them, they’re gonna have to dig for them. But they don’t know which out house it’s under. Hope they have fun.

Tomorrow I’ll post the pictures of the cats. Promise.

Oh, wait - I hear something! Hang on.

. . .

. . .

Oh, no! They got out! They’re better than I thought - they’re breaking in through the basement. They’ve